Activate Your Actualizing Ego
It is important to introduce another part of our Ego that has a mediating influence for our Basic Ego. This is the part of us that when used, helps us advance more rapidly and completely on our Journey to the Naked Soul. Our Actualizing Ego is the adult Ego that is wise, self-reflective, intuitive part of us that helps us manage our Basic Ego needs. When we activate our Actualizing Ego, we can more easily manage our basic instincts, so we are neither too aggressive nor too passive. This is the secret to true inner happiness and freedom. We are no longer led around by our basic nature, but rather we learn to “dialogue” with it as our friend to better understand it and help it evolve.
Many of us who have been parents, or have had to manage or teach children or other adults in a work environment, know how important it is to have a fully functioning adult in a supervisory role. This is what the Actualizing Ego does for us personally. This is the part of us who says to our Basic Ego, “I think you need to calm your emotions right now and not get into a road rage with the other driver.” Or, “What would be the best choice to create a win-win situation in this relationship?” Or, “I think this relationship is abusive and I need to set limits and boundaries with this person’s behavior.”
Our Actualizing Ego helps us manage our internal emotions. It helps us become self-reflective, so we can learn from our mistakes. It also helps us better manage our Basic Ego, so we can make wiser choices to create a better future.
Your Humbling Journey
Our Actualizing Ego helps us become humble enough to let the Love of our Core Being and our Naked Soul shine through. Humbling ourselves at this profound level is one of the hardest tasks for us as human beings. We tend to resist humility, since it feels too vulnerable. As author and speaker Gabrielle (Gabby) Bernstein so eloquently stated, “Our true power lies in our willingness to be vulnerable.” (See also the The Power of Vulnerability video conversation with Oprah Winfrey by research professor and author Brené Brown.)
Letting ourselves experience humility is hard, really hard, since the Ego doesn’t want to let go of control or admit it might be wrong. Our personal journey home to our Naked Soul may repeatedly require us to humble our Ego. We may need to drop our pride, face difficult truths about ourselves or take responsibility for the consequences of our wrong beliefs, poor decisions or bad behavior.
Even though the journey through our Basic Ego to our Core and our Naked Soul can be uncomfortable and sometimes extremely difficult, it helps us admit a deep truth: The more difficult it is to face something, the clearer the sign we need to face it. Otherwise, like a small child trying to get a parent’s attention, it will hound us until we address it.
Each time we accept a new challenge that our Basic Ego brings us, we learn something new about ourselves. We call this the Unwanted Gift, since it is through this process of personal awareness that we become more empowered and more comfortable being our authentic Self. When we stand undefended as our authentic Self, we easily connect with our Core Being and Naked Soul.