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Food for thought and practical tips for your personal journey.

Emotional Resilience & Self-Care

Green bean sprout growing through a crack

It’s no surprise that so many of us have difficulty giving ourselves the compassion that is necessary to help us overcome our traumas and self-shaming. Most of us come from a culture that does not value real self-love. Too often we think of love as romantic love. But, total and whole love is far greater.

It is important to recognize that we humans are built to know an endless supply of self-love and compassion. We were meant to live most of the time in a relaxed, self-connected, and self-loving state, where we appreciate ourselves, flaws and all.

It is not our fault that we have suffered emotional traumas in our vulnerable childhood that lead us astray from our Core Being and our Naked Soul. While it is not our fault, we can do something about it. We can increase our self-love by building our self-compassion.

Build Your Self-Compassion Step-by-Step

Little girl with cat

We can’t just will ourselves to have self-compassion. It is a process that can take time to learn as adults, since most of us were not taught earlier in life how to to do it.

Understanding and working through these steps in the process can build your self-love and give you a sense of self-empowerment that comes from taking charge of your life each step along the way.

  1. It’s alright to “feel sorry for yourself.” Feeling sad about something that hurts you emotionally allows you to begin the journey toward self-compassion. It opens you to being honest with yourself about your feelings.

  2. Notice your stern self-talk. This only adds to your internal hurt by putting a lid over your vulnerable emotions. Examples include: 

    • “Don’t wallow in self-pity.”

    • “Get over it and move on.”

  3. Imagine a trauma or abuse happening to an innocent child or animal. This may help you feel your feelings and recognize that it is your own compassion that is experiencing the emotion of love. If you have difficulty feeling your compassion, you may want to visualize the Humane Society ads that show sad dogs. If you’re like me, my heart breaks with compassion and empathy for animals, who are innocent beings.

  4. Visualize a personal emotional trauma, neglect, or harshness from your childhood that still impacts you today. Bring the compassion for your innocent “child self” home to your heart. It may help to hold a pillow to your heart. Don’t expect yourself to have an emotional release, but if you do, accept it and thank yourself.

  5. Practice the visualization in #4 above on a daily basis. Each time allow it to go deeper and connect you to your Core Being. The Core Being that is integrally connected to your spiritual essence or Naked Soul. Your Naked Soul is tethered forever to God, the Infinite Resource of Love.

Elaine RozelleComment